Psychologist reveals top reasons why couples fight!

Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but the nature of these arguments often reflects deeper emotional dynamics, says Dr. Mark Travers, a psychologist who specialises in relationships. Based on a YouGov poll of 1,000 American adults and his clinical expertise, Dr. Travers highlights the three most common reasons couples clash—and what they actually signify.

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The most frequent trigger is a partner’s tone or attitude. Sarcasm, dismissive looks, or a sharp tone may appear minor, but they often communicate contempt—an emotion strongly linked to relationship breakdowns. Dr. Travers advises partners to calmly express how these behaviours make them feel, and for the offending partner to explore what’s driving their reaction, such as stress or feeling unheard.

Family issues are another common source of conflict. Tensions may arise when one partner feels unsupported during family disputes or parenting disagreements. These arguments often mask a deeper need for solidarity. According to Dr. Travers, reassurance and setting clear boundaries together can restore emotional balance.

Household chores also frequently spark disputes—not because of the tasks themselves, but due to the unequal distribution of emotional and mental labour. Often, one partner carries an unacknowledged “invisible load.” Dr. Travers encourages couples to recognise this burden and discuss how to divide responsibilities more fairly.

Handled thoughtfully, conflict can become a tool for connection and growth.